its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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