saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize