i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
