lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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