Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
