i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
