...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
