and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
