wakey wakey hands off snakey
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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