So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
