drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
