Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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