she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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