can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
