She said her name was "party"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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