i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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