clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
