I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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