so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
