What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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