I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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