If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize