I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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