I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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