Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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