ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
