We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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