Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize