Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
