guys are only as good as the porn they watch
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
