either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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