I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
