Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
