You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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