Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
zippers are such a cool invention
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
