I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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