I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
two words...techno handjob
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
