i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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