shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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