I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
