I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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