Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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