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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.

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• (213): View more from California

  Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch

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• (213): View more from California

  hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.

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