I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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