Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
