So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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