Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
