did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
