I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have post one night stand depression
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
