We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I believe in your delicious
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My feet surprised me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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