i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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