do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
