I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
