either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
