I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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