So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
