My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
