i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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