I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
